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Posts Tagged ‘married life’

We pay someone to clean our house. It’s a luxury, but not one I would give up unless I truly had no other choice. I’m very frugal in most respects, but when it comes to this, it’s worth the $100 every 3 weeks (it’d be every 2 weeks if I could afford it).

During our first three months in our house, I did most of the cleaning. I  have a bit of clutter in my life and I’m okay with it as long as it stays somewhat contained, but I can’t tolerate dirt and grime. Dirty floors and dusty furniture make me feel like a less worthy person, somehow. (Don’t even talk to me about stained toilet bowls or grimy bathtubs. shudder) In our 2000 square-foot home, I was spending a significant amount of time scrubbing and dusting each weekend. My husband helped if I asked, but didn’t do any cleaning without prompting from me. I felt like I was losing hours and hours of my life to the Swiffer and the sponge.

I value a clean house, but I also value the precious little free time I have. In this case, the free time is more valuable than the money. I’ll find other areas where I can cut back expenses, if I have to. Plus, was able to let go of the resentment I felt back when I was the one doing nearly all of the work.

I’m think it’s safe to conclude that paying someone to clean our house is good for our marriage.

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Growing a Marriage

Even though I don’t have kids, I love the Momversations. The ladies on the panel are insightful and smart, and it’s fun to see the faces behind the blogs. The Momversation called Keeping Your Marriage Fresh was particularly interesting, given my relatively new married status. I can only imagine how challenging it must be to try to nurture a marriage with kids in the picture. And managing to keep some degree of romance? Sheesh.

It reminds me of a discovery I made not long ago.

It’s a funny thing. No one tells you that one of the absolute most unromantic things you can possibly do in a relationship is move in together. But it’s true. Yes, by moving in together you’re taking the relationship “to the next level.” But it’s a level where most of the mystery disappears. And that giddy anticipation before you see your honey? Gone. Cause he’s there all the time. Romance and excitement are fairly effortless when you’re dating – that’s why it’s fun. But being married means you’ve traded (at least some) excitement for security and long-term commitment.

Marriage is a scary thing. Hardly a day goes by in which the profound challenge of growing a life-long relationship does not cross my mind. I know how to excel in school and at work. Those things come pretty naturally to me. I have no training for being successful in marriage. A few (very few) instincts about what to do and what not to do, maybe. But in my own life I don’t have models of marriage that I can emulate, and I don’t have clear ideas about what I need to do to be successful.

When it comes to maintaining my health, I truly believe that healthy daily habits are key. I suspect that marriage works the same way, in some respects. Some of what you have is due to luck. But a lot of what you have is due to the daily work you put into it. A topic I’m sure I’ll be revisiting often.

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